Greetings, my friend...
Greetings, my friend...
So, *dramatic pause* come up to the lab and seee what's on the slaaab ahem i mean here it is, one of my favourite movie musicals ever, i see it as it's own thing really, a movie, i feel like the live version is DEFINITELY such a different experience that is a whole thing on it's own. If you are reading this, you probably have watched this movie before, but if u haven't i HIGHLY recomend you do! (i will be giving spoilers and everything so yeah). With that said, im going to start rambling.
I was exposed to the existence of this movie (like every queer theater kid) through Glee, yeah, my cousin who's 2 years older than me was super into Glee and i used to just watch it with him, we came across the
episode where they perform songs from rocky horror and i was like WOAH this is fun!! One day he convinced me to watch the movie (i was like 14/15?) and i, as one would expect, was so lost and confused, i think i got like half the story on the first watch shajsha. "But this is one of your favourite movies?!?!" you may say, and you are correct! well, then how did i got so obsessed with it? I decided to rewatch it, to see if i could understand the story better...and then i rewatched it again some other day and again and dammit! that's how i got hooked on this movie (and self-expression). I was so obsessed i made this huge collage and all, i rewatched the movie like every day after that (by the time im writing this, more than 70 times).
What draw me to this movie?
Maybe the sheer insanity of it,
the blood and murder, the rock
songs, the beautiful, amazing,
sexy cast and maybe the free-
dom it felt to see a world where
even if Frank N Furter was the
villain, he was still everything i
aspire to be, open, unashamed,
loud and proud. By the time i
got so balls deep into every-
thing related to the movie i was
a confident bisexual and a
slightly confused cis? girl?, yup, im not saying Frank N furter and the whole cast of this movie transed my gender but i definitely felt a conflicting feeling (gender envy) looking at Tim Curry in this get up.
In every rewatch i felt like i was noticing something new about the movie and learning something about myself, i would get lost in a world full of sexual liberation, of no shame over gender non comformity, of fun music and campy performances. This movie feels like home to me, where i can truly be me and not be judge, be a freak and have complete and unfiltered fun, free of prejudice, where i can forget about the outside world and insert myself in this crazy reality in which you can create the perfect man to fuck, you can wear fun and daring costumes, you have bisexual fonication and sing and dance your heart out, coming out of the whole experience with a new view of the world that sorounds you. If you tell me you wouldn't like to be in a world like this, then i don't think this blog is (or my fav movies are) for you, but if it is something you are interested, welcome, to a place of absolute pleasure! and remember folks: don't dream it, be it.
Yeah, i know what you are gonna say, this is such an obvious movie for me to be obsessed with, BUT HEAR ME OUT!!
i have such a huge passion for this movie, is soooo much better than JUST a slasher classic, is like, wife to me. Anyways if you wanna listen to my billy and stu playlist while reading this, i would be delighted.
So first i HAVE to tell you guys how i became a scream junkie...I was 16 years old and decided to watch the classics of horror, this one was obviously on there and i said "yeahhh why not, the killer is hot right?" well, he is, i was right, but what i was not expecting getting the BEST whoddunit i have EVER seen, i did know that billy was going to end up being the killer but i was NOT aware of stu, ooohh.my.god i was shocked tbh and also horny. But we are not here to talk about how incredibly sexy billy and stu are, but to talk about the affect of this movie on my life. So, the first time i watched this movie i enjoyed it, i was starting to get into horror movies so i just went to the next one. Eventually, i decided to watch it again and this time, i was more knowledgeable about tropes and queercoding (some info about the queercoding of stu macher), let me tell you that mY SECOND WATCH HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK! i was soooo insane, i watched a lot and read the script and watched interviews and learned about the cast, got obsessed with matthew lillard and skeet ulrich etc etc, the nerd i am today, etc etc.
But this takes me to talking about what i love about the movie, first of all, it's such an iconic twist on the slasher genre, is super fun to watch but also serious enough where you worry about the characters, whatever you think is obvious about horror movies become meta jokes, and you think everything will happen the way movies in the 80s played out, like sidney says "What's the point, they're all the same, some stupid killer is stalking some big breasted girl who can't act who's always running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door, it's insulting", how the virgin always lives and the nerd always dies. I know looking at this movie from a modern perspective seems like whatever, yeah, it's meta and what, but at the time guys, it was like woaaahh this is totally not what you expected!! specially with having two killers instead of one!!.
My second point is, not only i feel that every single
character in this movie has such a huge potential for
queerness but also how incredibly loveable they are,
in slashers of the past, most of the time (specifically
in the sleazy slasher 80s boom) the characters whe-
re just there to die, for the interesting invincible killer
to bring them to death in violent ways, no redeeming
qualities to them whatsoever, no personlity just a ho-
llow character with a trope to kill, in this movie how-
ever, every single one of this characters has some-
thing about them that makes you want their survival,
because they are funny, whitty, strong, badass,
sweet, ambitious, and i truly absolutely adore that it
makes the experience to see them die or getting hurt
so much more sad than any slasher would make you feel, now having that in mind, i wanna talk a little about bily and stu, because, yes, i did know watching this movie who the killers where but seeing them trying to act like normal teenagers while planning this whole thing make me know more about their personality BEHIND the killer aspect of it, so you guys know how i feel about them...
They're my favourite part of the whole thing bro, i don't wanna talk too much about the history of queercoding or anything because i could go on for hours, but since my second watch i just kept seeing the signs of stu being mmmm sus and how most of the times or well all of the times if i can remember well billy doesn't pull away from him, which now i guess it seems kinda stupid but in the 90s i feel like people must've looked at eachother with an expression of "are you thinking what im thinking?" and yes everyone, it is what you're thinking, my boy is bisexual. Anyways, their relationship literally drives me insane, maybe is the whole ohhh prohibited love or something, it's most likely the deep admiration of stu has for billy where he's able to do something so grand like umm i dont know KILLING A BUNCH OF PEOPLE, including stu's ex girlfriend and current girlfriend, i think is something that i admire TO AN EXTEND obviously, i do not condone the killing of people PLEASE, DON'T KILL ANYONE.
Billy and Stu are so special to me, super dear to my heart, every character is, for different reasons, but i guess they're my weakness on this movie, im a queer horror movie lover, so you see why i have favourites. Im gonna close this saying that there's many many essays and videos and articles of people talking about all this better than i can, and for your pleasure im gonna leave some on here for you, yes, at the end of my senseless rant, love yaaa!!.
Here's a link to the BEST MUSICAL EVER, based on the scream movie!!
I have, obviously, rewatched the movie in order to give you guys my opinions on it and why is it my favourite, and also, because i haven't seen it in a hot minute and i tuly wanna remind myself of how GOOD it is!! anyways, let's get to the talking.
I know some trans people don't like her or well the way she is in this movie but i absolutely LOVE her character and i think her story is important and very well made, with care and adoration. I think she is an amazing and strong person, someone who is looking for her real self, leaving her past behind, to re-define what it means to be her, to be Hedwig, what is it mean, to be trans, to be a woman or a man. I relate to her, in a way, and i also think she's a character a lot of people can relate to, her search for self identity, her search for love and self-love, maybe big dreams of a succesful career, maybe you're into music, maybe you've felt like a freak before or maybe her life seems like a mirror of yours, i personally think we all have a little bit of Hedwig in us.
When she talks about her chilhood and we see how blue colored it looked, grrrraaaahhh girl i get you!!! Now, can we tak a little about the song origin of love, like, i don't kno how you feel, but love for me has always been a hard thing, not in the way you think, i just never had a relashionship or a date before, or even have people tell me they have a crush on me, because of bullying in the past i also have always struggled with self-love, i thought well if someone loves me and needs me then maybe i AM worth something...obviously, not only is a fact that this is not true but also at the end of this movie we see how, actually, we are not a half of someone else, we are whole, we are one, i am a person and i need to love myself for me and work on my values, im not for anyone, im for myself first and i don't have to fit someone's fantasy or binary.
Now, this is where i really conect with her character too, the "cripto-homo rockers" she talks about, also big inspiration in my life and my art too, like her, i was soft. Eventually learned to fend for myself, just like her, after many things i went through. Can i just say for a minute, how AMAZING this movie looks, adapting an off broadway musical to a movie is always hard, but i think John Cameron Mitchell made such an incredible job at being her, the songs, hedwig's personality, the way she talks, the colors in this movie, everything is perfect to me.
And look, Hansel has been told that power and control are bad things, that being soft is good, that being soft will make you invisible and delicate, easy to go unnoticed, everyone seems to tell Hansel this is the way, the way to the other side of the wall, "to be free, one must give a little part of oneself" and there we go, to hear about WHY is the band called The Angry Inch, about her bottom surgery, in her own words, force upon her, traumatic and that left her with what she calls an angry inch. To be completely honest, the way she talks about it in the song reflects what some folks may feel about their forced operations being intersex (im not an intrsex person, so if u are and think i shouldn't talk about smthg i didn't went through, i can delete this part).
When Hedwig finally starts to find herself in her feminity really makes me tear up a little, i can relate to finding yourself thought something related to gender roles, im not gonna lie and say im the most androgynous person ever, but i just really feel myself when i see myself and the mirror and what it's reflects back is something i really can feel confident in, that really is something that shows how i really feel inside, is such an amazing feeling. Also, the way she shines the best when she writes her own music and sings from the heart as opossed to doing covers is a little detail i absolutely love in this movie, her face while she delivers the lyrics is truly admirable and i can't take my eyes off of her. She's a character with so much heart and so much love, i wish she could've had much more love and adoration given to her as she deserves.
Being trans and dating is hard, is uncomfortable to have to explain yourself all the time, to search everywhere, it seems, for someone that can accept you and love the way you are, no conditions, no complicated feelings. Not saying that cis relationships are easy and simple but it always seems like theres an elephant in the room when you are a trans person daiting a cis one, like there's a coversation to have, looming at every moment, i don't know, i have never dated before tbh.
Ok!! let's close this rambling!! by saying that i love the end of the movie, i love that throught that "scandal" tommy had, she was able to get the glory she truly deserves, the recognition she has always craved, the apology she should've gotten this whole time and most importantly, she found herself, who this person really is, and what this person really needs, what being Hedwig truly means. I love her, i love the band, i love you itzhak, i love you freaks and losers, non-binary people, binary cis people, broken up people, anyone who got betrayed and heartbroken, anyone who made a mistake or haven't found themselves yet, anyone who choose not to conform to any gender role or expectations, to all the strange rock n' rollers, i love you and you're all doing just fine.
I gotta give a little gore warning for the trailer, so if you don't wanna see that i recommend not going into it, also, if you are curious for the trigger warnings for the movie you can check them out here. Im not gonna be putting gorey or graphic images in this so, if you wanna read you are safe. ♡
Since becoming a huge horror fan at 16 i started seeing a lot of people talk about this movie, had it in my watch later list for a long time, until i finally cave in 2021 after following a person on instagram that is OBSESSED with this movie and said it was really gay and camp, so i was like oohhh yeah this is right up my alley, watched on valentine's day and all. As you can probably tell by the fact that im writing about it, that i LOVED it!! it took me a little time, i rewatched it, i learned about the queercoding of this movie (will leave links at the end of this) and just watching SO many videos and stuff about it, i couldn't stop, i have done a version of the reagent, i have the 3 movies on DVD and i bought the novelization of the movie for myself as a birthday gift, yes, im a little insane.
But i believe the reasoning for all this is valid, firstly, at the time i wasn't too much into science fiction horror, i don't know why tbh, but i watched this and i was like "OH wait, so it can be this fun??", i had a wrong vision of what sci-fi was, aparently, but i know better now. Secondly, i am such a SUCKER for campy horror, this has everything i like: gore, green glowy liquid, the 80s feel to it, an autistic weird little twink (herbert west), homosexual sub (dom) text oh bro and the second movie, the creation of a perfect being just like Frankenstein (one of my fav concepts), creating this being FOR Dan, to keep HIM by Herbert's side just like a troubled couple having a baby thinking it can save their relationship, them living together in this house, having been experimenting together...in the lab, of course...
My favourite thing about this whole thing is that Re-animator is a book by H. P. Lovecraft a known homophobe (and many other things) and this movie seems to just absolutely laugh at that, not only there's some sort of tension and chimestry going on with the main characters Herbert and Dan, but also in the movie we see Meg Halsey, a lot actually, she appears a lot more that any woman in any of Lovecraft's books. The first movie seems to be like a gayer, more fun and queer version of the book, told in a different way, it truly shows, even if by lack of women in the books of Lovecraft we see how homoerotic it seems to put these male characters depending on each other like this. Also let me say i love Meg Halsey she is a great character in my eyes and i feel she deserves better AND Barbara Crampton is an amazing actress and a big Danbert shipper aparently, i trust her with my life.
Another thing i wanna mention is how in the book Herbert seems to be the worst evil, the queer villain that should get punished, and in the movie we have someone ELSE that works as the villain and you may ask: what's worst than being a gay evil twink??? being a creepy heterosexual plagiarist that tries to forces himself on a woman!!, that's, in my eyes, the worst evil, leave my boy Herbert alone, he is a little insane but look, he's a genius!!.
Talking about Herbert, he seems like a dude ANYONE can relate to in some way or another, a lot of people see him as asexual, as autistic some as trans, i rock so hard with all of it man, yeah!! make this weird little guy your own version of himself!! i love headcannons, i love when people can see themselves in characters, sometimes we have to create our own vision with existing media. Some stuff these days have no ummm swag, i just gotta make some 80s dude my little transmasc neurodivergent version of himself and that's fine, let me have my fun!! also i don't think is too far from the coding so...if you wanna blame anybody, blame the writers and directors, not me.
I mentioned before that i have the trilogy on DVD, i have so sad news, the version i have of the first movie, is apparently, not the integral cut, which have my favourite scenes in the whole movie, where we can see not only a little bit more of plot in Dr. Hill's side (the villain in this movie, yes) but ALSO some little scenes where we see Herbert struggling with injecting a water down version of the reagent on himself and having Dan help him, Dan talking about how genius Herbert is and how he conquered brain death!! and Megan trying to get Dan away from him, a GREAT scene where Megan is literally telling her boyfriend "you have to separe yourself from west" and Dan goes "don't you understand what he has done?! what we could do?!" AND HEAR THIS GUYS, Meg goes "well.. what about what WE could do?" and these scenes...are nowhere in my DVD... SO DOES THIS MEAN I JUST BOUGHT RE-ANIMATOR FOR NOTHING?! anyways, i enjoy it, a little sad, but i enjoy it, everytime i watch my DVD i say out loud what scene goes where and how much i love it. To myself, obviously, no one wants to watch this with me. The suffering of a nerdy horror fan i guess.
In regards of the coding of this movie the ending is where we do see the villain, suposedly dying but also the insane gay scientist sacrifice himself for the aparent straight couple (and his reagent), dying to the hands of Dr. Hills intestines (overdosed on the reagent) while reaching out to Dan, not being able to hold hands stong enough to save Herbert. However Dan, ends up, with a dead Meg too, the people he has been most close to, are now gone...for now.
Let me talk about the second movie (Bride of Re-animator 1989) a little and then i'll shut up. Im talking about it here because i see the whole trilogy as one thing and also i think it would be insane for me to talk about it separately, so yeah, point is, this one is SO good, our gay insane little scientist is back and thriving!! I love love love that Herbert and Dan move together to do their research, right beside the cementery, they're so husbands, even in the commentarythe actors seem to know how all of this looks, there's truly amazing scenes in Bride of Re-animator, i feel more connected to that one if im honest, it seems more queer to me, it's probably the creation of a being, of their daughter actually.
It's the blasphemy of changing what "god created in his image", reverting the expectations of what a body or a human should be like or considered, i also see how Herbert and the bride parallel each other towards Dan, the way Herbert describes the bride to Dan, egging him on to be on board with the whole thing. Where Dan seems eager, this time, to participate in animating this amalgamation of perfect parts, he administers the reagent, while Herbert puts his hand on both Dan's shoulder and the bride's torso, uniting them together. There's also the whole scene where Herbert says that he rejects the failures of god and embraces his triumph over it, creating a being out of body parts, making a person, without sex, without a woman, just how god forbid it to be. At the end tho, we see again how Herbet West is doomed by the narrative, how the seemingly straight couple survives and how West's creations end up being his demise. "Good" raises over "evil". Or does it...?
Yes, it does, not in the way you think tho, Herbert lives, but ends up in prison in the third movie, bretayed by his former partner, Dan, so yeah, im not gonna talk about the third movie, because i don't really like it and it makes me a little sad that Dan is not there, not even appear in a flashback or nothing, also the movie to me lacks a lot more of what made the others so good.
That being said, re-animator and bride of re-animator you will always be famous to me. I find myself going back to these movies and finding them as interesting and as cool and as queer as the first time i watched them, truly dear to me, i didn't even mention the cool ass effects these movies have OMG, but i can't rant forever, so im gonna leave with this. We need more evil weird queers in media, i need to see the queerest version of a Frankestein type of deal, right now, or i will die.
With love, a Herbert West apologist.
The Homoerotic History of Re-Animator (Part I) By Raine Patrie
Bride of Re-Animator: The Homoerotic History of Re-Animator (Part II) By Raine Petrie
"Refuse of God's Failures" and Transness in Bride of Re-Animator By Logan-Ashley Kisner
Look, if you have never seen this movie, i don't think anything i say will make sense, you have to experience it for yourself to be honest. You can find it on youtube, although i REALLY encourage you to get it legally, but hey, im not gonna sit here and pretend like i watched ANY of these films legally, so anyways, let's get to it.
Im gonna start by mentioning that this is one those movies that has absolutely changed my life for the better, is one of those movies i watch time and time again, where i never get tired, i always scream in the fun parts, cry in the dramatic ones and sing at the top of my lungs with every song. This movie feels like a reflection of me, of my life, it's like it came out of my brain and projected onto the world. Is it because it was made by fans for fans? is it because glam rock was (and still is) a huge influence in my teenage years? or because the way Christian Bale's character Arthur Stuart experiences his life in the peak glam rock 70s feels the same, in a way, to how i lived it in my teen years, even if the world around me was more like the dull and sad vision of the 80s we see in the present of the film, i saw everything with flashing colours and glitter, listening to incredible artists and openly queer people talking about their lives in a way that was IRRESISTIBLE to me, to the sexual liberation, to the freedom of being an unusual and queer person. I feel like y'all can tell that there's a common theme with my fav movies...
I gotta tell you, there's alien Oscar Wilde, there's a green gem that gets passed through generations of queer men, there's glitter everywhere, there's gay sex and gay love, and great songs and amazing costumes, and much more. So, yes, everything i love in a movie, guys, this is like, the best thing ever. I also gotta tell you, that this WAS supposed to be a Bowie biopic AND his song Velvet Goldmine was supposed to be in this movie, however he denied Todd Haynes (creator of this film) to use his name and songs on this movie, which i think was a blessing in disguise, it made the movie so much better by changing everyones names and tweaking the story a bit, making it absoutely unique.
We get to see this whole thing, the drama between Brian Slade and Curt Wild, the lives of these characters, the peak and death of glam rock all throught bits of story (in a Citizen Kane way) from the people close to Brian and Curt, from people who were there, but most importantly, we get to see it throught the eyes of the fans, through the eyes of Arthur, remenicing about his teen days, how he would try to fit with the glam style, how his parents and society reacted to this new "fad" of bisexual teenagers having gay sex and wearing "girl clothes", and how he found himself, his sexuality and identity.
The nostagia that i get for this era is insane considering i didn't even live it, i didn't even got to the 90s, i was born on the year 2000 fr. That scene where Arthur is looking at the tv with his parents and listens to what Brian Slade said and yells "THAT'S ME!!!" in his head, is SO real and is also how i felt watching this movie while looking at Arthur, because ultimately, that is what this movie is kinda about, this big superstars talking about themselves in a way that makes the fan realize something about themselves and feels seen and understood, as a huge Bowie fan, this is like meta to me, because that's how i felt when i discovered Bowie's music and specially the song Rebel Rebel, i talked a little about this on my music part of this blog, but yes, i also saw myself on those lyrics, in these artists and what it seems they stood for. That scene is one of my favourites on this film, everytime i watch it and it comes up i too yell out loud "THAT'S ME!!" to my tv. I want you guys too know what a fucking moment was for me, a trans fag to see Brian Slade and Curt Wild for the first time, even now, i feel like im going insane with gender envy /pos.
The way this movie was made with the nostalgia of the creator for that era at the center, it's kinda contagious, perhaps is because i saw this movie when i was 16 and i am now 23, i always look back to it with a lot of love and with a warm feeling. If you have read any of the things i have written on this part of the blog, i love camp, camp to me doesn't only come as an aesthetic but it comes with the history behind it, it's not just a concept for a fashion show. Camp wouldn't be, without queerness, it's essential to it, not only because the begginings of camp are rooted in queer spaces but also because there's way more to it than just a way of dressing or an aesthetic for one night, you can read an extensive analysis on the history of camp and it's place in mainstream fashion here, im not here to explain camp because im not super eloquent or anything, im just some guy with a blog.
This movie reminds me of my youth a little, when i too, like the character of Arthur, discovered myself, everything seemed hopeful and i was excited for what was to come for me in the future, when i eventually get older and have no limits to what i can do or what i can be. In one way or another, things have become a little dull, hardships came to my life, just like in the movie when we see the boring, seemingly uptight 80s, but i look back to 15 year old me with a little glitter in my eyes. It holds such a sense of what the past was like in the eyes of the people who lived it, specially queer ones, but it also feels like an optimistic view for the future, a queer future, that as we can see, in this case, it's the boring homophobic 80s, where when singer Tommy Stone gets recognized and questioned about his past persona Brian Slade seems to want to forget about this. At least, when we see these stars and fans in the 70s, in berlin, there's this warm fuzzy feeling to that present that has that hopeful sensation for a better future.
It's like society seems to have forgotten of a time where queer performers were on stage leading the glam rock era, high camp, big platform boots and openness about their sexuality. We see in this movie Brian and Curt existing not only as incredible bigger than life characters but also people, with problems, with drug issues, with heartbreaks and more, at least to a point we can know that reality, what they can show to us, the fans, maintining their privacy. I feel exactly how the present in this movie looks like and feels to Arthur, devoid of color and joy, i also felt there was a time where things seemed hopeful for queer people, now, not too much, don't get me wrong, i see queer history being made before my eyes, non-binary actors on tv, beautiful pieces of queer media made with love and more, i also recognize how far we made it and im grateful to those who fought for what we DO have. But it has been hard for us these past few years, the ban on Drag Queens, the debate against pronouns (yeah, we all use them), i feel we all need some hope. Something like the gem in this movie, being passed along, from queer person to queer person, we can all use a little bit of hope, for the future, OUR future. We have always existed and we always will.
“That’s me!” Representation in Velvet Goldmine (1998) By David Sorfa
Velvet Goldmine: The Promise of a Queer Future By Brishti (newjerseyhater on tumblr)